the Shemya informer - 25 Apr 1959 (page 2)
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ADVICE TO THE LOVE-LORNE BY MISS MAY. DEAR MISS MAY, I HAVE A PROBLEM. THE OTHER DAY, I WAS CAUGHT SLEEPING ON DUTY. ALL I WAS DOING, WAS DREAMING OF MY SWEET- HEART, WHEN MY NCOIC AND SOME VISITING NAVY PEOPLE INTERUPTED MY SLUMBER. NOW THEY SAY I HAVE TO WORK OVER TIME. WHAT SHOULD I DO. SP 4 W.W. __________________________________________ DEAR WISHY-WASHY, I CAN WELL REALIZE YOUR PROBLEM. THE ONLY ADVICE I CAN GIVE IS CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY. AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, IF, YOU HAD DONE SUCH A THING DURING TIME OF WAR, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SHOT. REMEMBER, "LIFE ISN'T JUST A BOWL OF CHERRIES." MISS M. __________________________________________
DEAR MISS MAY, I AM A GIRL OF NINETEEN. MY BOY FRIEND IS STATIONED WITH YOUR OUTFIT. I HAVE GOOD REASON TO BELIEVE THAT HE IS STEPPING OUT ON ME. WHAT LEAVES ME TO THINK THIS IS THAT MY FUTURE HUSBAND, W.W. , HASN'T WRITTEN IN SOME TIME. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THIS? HOPELESS DEAR HOPELESS, YOUR HOPELESS; MISS M _________________________________________ CONFIDENTIAL TO A/2C CARP. YOUR NOT AS SHORT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. MISS M. _________________________________________ THINK AHEA SEE YOUR TUNDRA BOND DEALER NOW AN ARDNUT (T.B. AGENT) __________________________________________ “THINK BIG” “FAMOUS QUOTE FROM AN UNKNOWN AF OFFICER”
GOSSIP. BY MISS JAN P. KULCWIN IS TRYING TO QUIT SMOKING AND WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF PEOPLE WOULD NOT OFFER HIM CIGARETTES. - - - PANSEY AND SWEETIES PIE HAVE MADE UP. ALL IS WELL. - - - - WHY IS IT THAT EVERY TIME A CERTAIN PFC ON OUR TRICK FOUR IS LATE, ANOTHER PFC ON TRICK FOUR IS LATE TOO????? MISS JAN ____________________________________________________________________________________________
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AFTER ALL, YOU, THE TAX PAYER, ARE PAYING FOR THE ABORTION THAT NORTH WEST DARES TO CALL FOOD. THE STAFF ______________________________________________________________