the Shemya informer - 25 Apr 1959 (page 1)
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THE SHEMYA INFORMER (AP, UP, IHTFP, INS) APRIL 25, 1959 AD (IHTFP)
SHEMYA, APRIL 25 (IHTFP) NOTED A/F MAN VOLUNTEERS TO WORK ON DAY OFF. ACCORDING TO LATEST REPORTS RECEIVED IN OUR NEWS ROOM, DURING THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS A BIT OF COLOR HAS BEEN ADDED TO THAT OLD PROVERB, “NEVER SAY DIE.” ACCORDING TO NEWS FLASHES RECEIVED TODAY, A CERTAIN A/F T/SGT WHOSE NAME HAS NOT YET BEEN RELEASED, WAS CAUGHT LEAVING THIS ASSIGNED DUTY STATION AS MUCH AS FORTY FIVE MINUTES EARLY. THIS INDIVIDUAL, WHO CLAIMS TO BE STEADFAST AND IRREPROACHABLE IN BOTH HIS HONOR AND INTEGRITY, WAS CAUGHT RED HANDED LEAVING HIS POST TWO DAYS AGO THE REPORT SAID. WHEN CAUGHT ON THE ROAD BY THE OIC AND ASKED WHAT TIME IT WAS HE CALMLY RESET HIS GLASSES ON THE BRIDGE OF HIS NOSE, TOOK A HEALTHY PUFF FROM HIS CHEAP CIGAR, AND STUTTERED, UH, OH, OOH, WELL-UH, MY WATCH SEEMS TO BE RUNNING A LITTLE SLOW. DUE TO THE FACT THAT HIS WATCH WAS RUNNING SLOW, THIS INDIVIDUAL WILL WORK FORTY FIVE MINUTES SATURDAY MORNING. WHO IS THE JOKE ON? THOSE WHO LAUGH LAST, LAUGH LOUDEST. AND THIS PAPER IS ALL SMILES.
E-OPS, APRIL 25 (UP) COLOR CONFUSION FROM A RELIABLE SOURCE, IT WAS LEARNED TODAY THAT A CERTAIN PFC IN E-OPS HAS BEEN ORDERING NUMEROUS AMOUNTS OF BROWN SHOE POSLIS AT THE B.X. IT IS THE OPINION OF THIS PAPER AND ITS STAFF THAT THIS PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL IS USING THIS POLISH ON HIS NOSE. ACCORDING TO THE LATEST SYSTEM OF INTERIOR DECORATING, BROWN SHOULD NEVER GO ON GREEN. _____________________________________________ SHEMYA, APRIL 25, (AP) A/F MAN GIVEN CHOICE TO FINISH CAREER. AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS OF LOYAL (?) ACTIVE MILITARY SERVICE, AN AIR FORCE MAN WAS TOLD HE COULD EITHER GET OUT, OR FINISH HIS TOUR IN THE WAF. THIS MAN IS AN EX CPO, M/SGT, AND AT THE PRESENT A T/SGT. THE OSI DISCLOSED TODAY THAT ACCORDING TO OFFICIAL BIRTH RECORDS, THIS PERSONS NAME IS NOT JUAN BUT JUANETTE. SHE WAS QUOTED IN SAYING, “I HOPE TO FINISH MY CAREER (?), UNLESS OF THE POSSABILITY OF A “BIG-BELLY” DISCHARGE, WHICH IS VERY POSSIBLE AS I ALREADY HAVE THE MAIN QUALIFICATION.”
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NWA OPERATIONS, APRIL # (ONS) (RS) //////EDITORIAL////// ""FINANCIAL PROBLEMS OF NWA QUESTIONED BY AUDITORS."" THIS IS THE PROBLEM, NORTHWEST FEEDS APPROXIMATELY FOUR HUNDRED MEN EACH DAY. FOR THIS, THE US GOVERNMENT PAYS THE OUTRAGES PRICE OF APPROXIMATELY $4,100.00. OUR QUESTION IS, WHY CAN’T NWA AFFORD A MERE TWELVE GALLONS OF COFFEE A DAY WHICH CAN BE MADE FROM APPROX. FOUR POUNDS OF GROUND COFFEE. TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION THE QUALITY, AS WELL AS QUANITY OF THE FOOD SERVED AT THE NWA CHOW HALL IT IS APPARENT THAT THIS MONEY MAKING ORGANIZATION IS MAKING MONEY. WE OF THIS PAPER FEEL THAT THE QUALITY OF THE FOOD, INCLUDING THE POWDERED MILK, SHOULD WARRANT SOME SONSIDERATION FOR THOSE WHO HAVE TO CONSUME IT.
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